It wasn't that long ago we were walking through security at the airport saying good-bye to my dad and step-mom. It was a good-bye Christine and I knew had the uncertainty of not knowing the next time we would be home for a visit. We were boarding a flight to move to Japan for the next 4 years. Audrey was 3 1/2 and was oblivious to the length of time, and exactly "what" was happening. Spring of 2011 after going through the events of the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami of March 11, we made a trip back to visit as much family as we could squeeze into a month long vacation. This time around we were saying "good-bye" to many more family members, many times over. Again in doing this Audrey seemed a bit unaware of the meaning of these rituals that we often take for granted. Fast forward to August 2013, we go to the terminal in Misawa to see the Vanderheiden's off, as they close the Misawa chapter of their lives and embark on new adventures in Idaho. For over an hour Audrey is using the time as a typical afternoon, playing and being silly with Christien. The time comes for them to board their flight. We all exchange hugs, say good-bye, and wave as they go through security. All seems to be much the same of previous times we have said good bye. Things quickly change as we are getting into the car to drive home.
For those of you that don't know we have become very close with Paul, Meghan, Christien, and Baby Clara! They are as much a part of our family and closest friends. Fortunate enough to have gotten to know them over the last 3 years. Audrey has asked a few times if they are in my family or Christine's. Although no blood relation exists, the word "family" is very much an accurate description.
Flashback to getting into the car. Audrey looks me straight in the face and says "Dad, I feel sad" I knew what was coming but asked her to tell me why she was sad. In her "mature" 6 years of existence she replies: "Mr. Paul, and Mrs Meghan, and Christien, are getting on that plane to move to somewhere new, that makes me sad. They won't be coming back here, and I already miss them." I told her everything would be alright and we will be seeing them again, and that we can talk to them on Skype. She seemed to understand. I close the door, get into the car and in the mirror she is crying. THIS is what changes the meaning of good-byes.
I grew up a military brat, and have said a million good-byes. It is NEVER any easier saying good-bye to family, it sucks every single time. Being the first time seeing the effects of a true good-bye and the understanding of what it means sinking in for a kid for the first time changes everything. I didn't know what to say. Giving hugs and kisses seem to work for now!
